Ants Marching!

A huge problem in Florida are fire ants.  Fire ants are a variety of stinging ants, and oh do they sting!  If you're unlucky enough to step onto an ant hill, the ants can swarm up your leg in seconds and do some serious damage.  They can also critically injure or even kill a small animal. 

Very cute small animal owned by author

So you can imagine, that having fire ant hills makes me quite nervous. 

Ants are some of the most industrious insects in existence.  Almost overnight, a huge ant hill can pop up. 

One of many huge ant hills that popped up overnight.

Luckily, from much experience, I always have some very powerful ant hill killer on hand that will take care of this. 

Very powerful ant hill killer

The theory is that you sprinkle the very powerful ant hill killer on the hill and the ants will eat the powerful ant hill killer and bring it back to the queen who will then drop dead.  The ant hill will then just be washed away by the next rain or by the wind.

Ant hill sprinkled with very powerful ant hill killer.

In my world of course, the ants just become annoyed and move a few feet down and start a new ant hill the next day.  It becomes a battle that can never be won. 

Many people have told me home remedies for ant hills.  I was told to pour boiling water on an active hill.  I boiled the water, carefully carried it outside, poured it on the hill and absolutely nothing happened.  I also was told to pour vinegar on a hill.  This was really scary.  When I poured the vinegar the ants went crazy and left the hill and starting chasing me. 

We also have enough frogs and geckos around that should be feasting on all the ants and mosquitos.  But the frogs that hang around my house seem to have other things to do.

Sleeping frog couldn't care less about ants.

So in conclusion, just like the weeds, the ants seem to have won the battles so far.  But the war is still on!

Palm Balls...What Are They Good For?

Absolutely nothing! 

For those of you who might not know what palm balls are, they grow in grapelike clusters on palm trees.

You can see a cluster of palm balls under the leaves on the
left side of the tree.

A better view

The palm balls themselves are hard, hazlenut type of "balls" that fall off the tree and dent the hood of my car, cause me to trip down the driveway, and cause palm fronds to grow in places that palm fronds shouldn't grow.

Palm Balls growing on small palm tree.

Palm fronds growing from ground around palm tree.

These fronds are as useful as weeds and just add to the vast variety I already have to clear away. 

I am sure though, that sometime at about 3 in the morning, on my roof, I can hear the squirrels having what seems to be a tennis match using the palm balls.  The U.S Open has nothing on us!

A Garbage Can and Missile Silos

My house, although not in the "boondocks", is in a part of town where there is no city water or sewer service.  Thus, we have well water and a septic tank.  This is quite typical of the city where I live.  It sounded quite easy when a friend explained what I have to do to maintain my well water.  I just have to use a softener and add salt to it about every 2 to 3 months, depending on usage. 

The softener is in the garage and at first sight, it looks like a garbage can and 3 missile silos.

I really don't understand how it all works, except that I have to add three 40 pound bags of salt to the "garbage can" and I have water. 

Needless to say, lugging three 40 pound bags and then lifting them up to the "garbage can" is as back breaking as any weeding I have to do.  And try as I may to conserve water, the salt dissolves at the same rate either way. 

I won't drink the water.  I'm horrified to even shower in it everyday.  I have a filter system under the kitchen sink that provides "reverse osmosis" water (I haven't a clue) that is supposed to be drinkable water.  Still, I buy gallon jugs of water that I have to lug and lift into a water cooler.

Life used to be a lot easier back in New York when all I had to do was turn on the tap and drink!  Now a great deal of my time is spent schlepping, lugging, lifting and carrying. 

So far, I haven't had to deal with any issues with the septic tank and from what I understand, it is the most unpleasant of all unpleasant experiences.  So, I keep my fingers crossed.

Look What Popped in For A Visit!

It's just amazing how fast unwanted things grow.  I know that this morning when I was out on my porch, doing the New York Times Puzzle, which was fairly easy with an uninspired theme today, I didn't see it.  But this afternoon it was plain as day.  At first from afar, I thought it was a golf ball.

Is someone mistaking my well manicured lawn for a golf course?

As I got nearer to it I realized it didn't come from above, but popped up from below.

Portobello or Chanterelle?

An ant umbrella?

I know that sometimes mushrooms will grow in shaded, damp places.  But this little beauty has shown itself in the middle of a lawn, high 90 degree temps for weeks, no shade and hardly any rain.  It's times like these that I can't help but feel lucky, sort of like I'm the chosen one.  There are also times when it seems like I'm on a 70's shroom trip and I will wake up and only grass will be growing on my lawn.  Nah, that will never happen!

When Does a Weed Have Multiple Personalities?

When does a weed have multiple personalities?  When it thinks it's a flower, of course!  You have to be careful because some weeds are tricky.  They try to disguise themselves as flowers to fool you and thus, let them live. 

Notice this foliage with pretty purple flowers trying to hide behind the palm tree.  Fooled you too, huh!  This weed, or small tree depending how you look at it, will meet its end the next time we meet.  You can grow, but you cannot hide. 

First Battle Won

After the first few minutes of using my weed demolisher, all I could think about is what a fool I've been to have not bought one of these years ago.  It took about a half an hour but I got 2 sections of the backyard done.  The charger lost power and the second charger only had about 10 minutes left.  It had been a couple of weeks since it was charged.  I'll have to wait until Sunday to begin the front.

The gardener, (who I will refer to as "the idiot" from here on in) comes once a week to mow the lawn. He called later that day and told me I should spray the weeks with weed spray.  Let me just say for the record that I've sprayed enough weed spray on my weeds in the past 7 years to rival the BP oil spill in the Gulf.  Completely useless but I do it anyway just for the heck of it. 

Kills the toughest weeds, but not mine!

And let me clarify, that the idiot just drives around in his mower for 30 minutes and trims the lawn.  In Florida, the "landscapers" aren't required to do anything else unless you pay them an additional fee.  In the past, the idiot has taken out a chunk of cement from my driveway and knocked down my mailbox.  But he always has something helpful to say to me like, "you have weeds".  I'm so lucky to have found him!

Anyway, the weed whacker was a bit heavier than I anticipated and after I finished I went inside, had a cup of coffee that spilled all over the place because my hands were shaking so bad.  The next day, needless to say, I had sore arms.  But it beats a bad back anyday.

A Call to Action

Weeds popping up through the bricks

You may look at some of these pics and figure I haven't weeded in years, but actually it's only been a month since I tackled the job.

The weather was being uncooperative, a steady sunny 96 degrees the past few weeks, my usual course of action of pulling them out of the ground one by one, crippling my back for weeks, did not seem to be the smart move. As a 52 year old overweight smoker, I didn't want to have a coronary and fall dead in the middle of an evil green weed grave. So I went to the big orange store and spent more money on this project than I wanted to, and bought a metal contraption that I hoped would have the weeds shaking in their roots.

Meet my brand new Black & Decker Trimmer and Edger or Weapon of Weed Destruction.

Watch out weeds, we're coming to get you!

I stood in the orange store for about an hour checking out about 40 of these devices until settling on this piece of machinery. The very nice man who was having the same problem as me, chose a gas model. But I know better than to keep gasoline engines in my sweltering garage, so I chose the one with 2 chargers, each carrying about a 40 minute charge.

After charging them both for 8 hours apiece, I was ready to go...As soon as I put this machine together that is. It didn't look all that complicated when I first looked at it, 4 screws is not something I would normally need to call a support group for, but that one damn screw wouldn't go into that one damn hole. (Sounds like a very bad porn movie). I know there are sadistic people in the home improvement industry that design these easy to put together tools to make the average person feel like idiots, but I was determined. One hour and thirteen minutes later, sweat pouring off of me (hard work or hot flash?), me and my metal sidekick were ready to take on the world!

A Weed is not a Weed...

Before I begin, I need to clarify the nature of this Blog. This Blog is about the common (or uncommon) weeds found in your lawn and garden such as these pictured below


And not the type of weed some of us may have had some experience with in our teens and young adulthoods such as these


So, this Blog isn't about growing weed, it is about killing weeds (which after years of trying I'm sure is not even possible).

It is also about the everyday struggles of trying to maintain the upkeep of a house on a limited budget and with limited knowledge and hardly any knowhow.